Relationships frighten me, which is why I trailed the single path for a long time. It was until recently that I met a fella who made me recognize that my heart and soul are not bricks. In the last couple of months, he has somehow succeeded to bring down my sturdy wall of independence and will. Now, I feel vulnerable.
We are banging (regularly) on the door of being official and the thought is a little terrifying. like I said, it has been ages since I had a real boyfriend. Due to this, I felt I needed to acquaint myself with the rules of the game. When it is just you, it doesn't matter if you don’t cut for four weeks, fart frequently or kiss a stranger. But, if you got a man in your life, and you want to keep him, then, you should let go of these things.
Yes, it is important we need to be ourselves, neither a girl or guy must change because of a partner accept it is a positive change. With this out of my mind, I am a strong advocate that we should probably keep some aspect of our lives to ourselves, particularly at the beginning of a new relationship. I am positive you are familiar with the stuff I am talking about. If you do not know, then don’t do the following in front of your boyfriend:
1. Talking about the number of guys
Except you have been a saint all through your entire existence, he does not care to know about how many other Ds have entered your P. Even if he SAYS it don’t matter, shut your mouth, he’s lying.
2. Equating him to your ex
Would you like it if he recounted in vivid details the trip to Paris with his ex-girlfriend? Except it was the place he deserted her after seeing you in a multitude of people, the answer is nada
3. Go with someone else
I think this one speaks for itself. If you are wondering why then you should probably take a long hard look at yourself.
4. Let him see you bleach your mustache
I am sure not all ladies are psyched by this because not all have to. I feel men are too delicate to handle or comprehend the idea that a woman could potentially get a fuzzy beard, the safest option is to keep it to yourself.
5. Peeing in the shower while together
Peeing in the shower is allowed as long as you are alone in the shower. However, when he is in there with you, it should be avoided. It is also important to remember this rule works both ways! No amount of chlorine can wash these images of your minds.
6. When you neglect the toothbrush
No one wants to be swept off their by odor of a stinking breath. So, please, brush your tooth.
Except your partner is a big fan of nature, your razor should be your best companion, especially when the bodies want to connect.
8. No farting
Farting is a bit of a contentious topic. Some argue it signifies a level of depth and closeness in the relationship. However, I am against it. Romance and wafts of egg do not go well together. Would you like him to Dutch oven you? No, you would not like that. So, the rule applies both ways.
9. File your feet in front of him
Taking of dead skins in front of your boyfriend is gross.
10. Picking your nose
If you into this, stop, it is gross. it does not just apply to relationships, this applies to everyone. Don’t do it again.
11 Choosing a salad and eating all his food
Ladies, if you want to go for a burger, go for a burger. Do not pretend to go for the ‘healthy’ option and eat away on his cheese fries. You are gradually plotting a breakup.
12. Giving a vivid description of your cycle
Periods are part of a woman existence- general knowledge. Having an in-depth discussion about is normal with my girlfriends, however, guys would love to be spared the graphic details
13. Poop in his presence
The moment he has that picture of you pooping, it is stuck for in his head. Doing such in his presence makes him he can also poop in your presence which is totally unacceptable
14. Acting like a jealous bitch
No one adores a jealous bitch, he’s with you for a reason.
15. Nag about your shape
If he didn’t find your shape or size attractive, he would not have made a move on you. Whatever your shape or size, love it. As the Spice Girls once said, “GIRL POWER.”
Before you get yourself in a labyrinth of confusion, I must stress that these are just ideas. Remember, every relationship is unique. Your guy may find it sexy when you let your pubic hair grow, fart regularly and pee on him in the bath. If your relationship is like that, good for you. But in my experience, if you want him to be around for a while, you should stay clear of these habits. Like I said when I kicked off this article, I’ve been single for a while, so, I am kind of rusty. What do I know?